Resolutionary

I guess it’s that time of year to make fucking resolutions on how you will become a better person in the year to come. I don’t have anything against this particular ritual, only that it sorta gets fucked over by the second week of January. People start eating shitty food again, stop exercising, and then the next thing you know – they are telling their BFFs to “fuck off” on a drunk Friday night.

What ever happened to commitment? To the love of doing something because you KNOW in the end, you will truly be better for it?

Over the last year, in real life, I lost 50 pounds. When I realized this, people would ask me how I did it? Was it some diet? or rigid exercise routine? I would always pause because it wasn’t really either. I just decided I was going to live better for me. There was no tormented “giving up” of foods or weird fucking calorie counting. I changed, and that changed everything. I discovered I was worth the effort. I was worth the commitment to myself to make myself healthy.

You’re worth it too. You’re worth every god damn second of it. 

Resolve to love yourself, thank your body and give yourself the support that you need to make the best decisions for your health. I’ll join you in that resolution. 

Carival

skin. dekade. Daria. Light LB. Culture Shock
lips. Mock. Opal Lipcolor Roman
eye liner. A.E. Meth. Cat Eyeliner 5
freckles. Adore&Abhor. Windy Xmas. Various Spots
eyes. Umeboshi. Yue Eyes Bicolour
tattoo. Flaunt. Serpent Skin Tattoo – Faded
hair. D!va. Hair Yoko
gloves. Rotten Toe. Long Rotten Gloves
mesh top. Hucci Salli Crop Tank – Midnight
bra. Blacklace Lingerie. Tangible Dreams. Red Velvet & Lace Bra
shorts. Rotten Toe. Maggot Shorts – Red White
boots. Crazy. Caligo Boots
neck piece. Cobrahive. Parade Collar

SLurl: http://slurl.com/secondlife/MadPea%20Base/97/165/39

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Peppermint Death

I was looking after this elderly couple this week and to be frank, they have a mice problem. A serious problem. The very kind woman was told that if you buy peppermint extract, the mice will leave your pantry alone. THIS IS A LIE. The mice were like, “OH! it smells nice in here. Lets try to break into that cardboard box of cereal.NOM NOM NOM.

PeppermintDeath

I, on the other hand, was not feeling as kind towards the mice. Operation: Exterminate Mickey is now in progress. I am a firm believer in the SNAP traps. They kill them quickly, as opposed to the glue traps which rip of their legs from their body. Then you have little bloody stumps running around dying a slow death.

You see, the part that is critical in this operation is that the husband has cancer. He completed his chemo treatment about 3 weeks ago and now is in recovery getting transfusions every few weeks to keep his white blood cell count up. SO! With that in mind… I am on a mission to kill the mice. No little furry creature is going to potentially poison my client under my watch. They are carriers of disease, parasites, and everything that a cancer-recovery body can NOT handle.

So yeah. Peppermint Death doesn’t work for mice, but it would make a cool band name.

Credits…………
skin. The Skinnery. Anais – End of the World (Black Tea)
hair. VAUGHAN’S – Lice Free – black
eyes. Mooney. Glassy: Blue
makeup1. mock. Opal Lipcolor – Puce
makeup2. mock. Back to Basics – Paarl
top. mon tissu. Slouchy Sweatshirt – striped
bottom. helm. Work Pants – grey
hat. Celoe. Mademoiselle Hat
earrings. Collisions. Mystique Earrings
bag. JD. Hearty Clutch Bag Carbon

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Winter Light

In the winter, the light changes so much. I remember my old college photography teacher used to tell us that you start learning all the personalities of light. It begins to speak to you. I thought at the time he was being a pretentious asshole. But as I’ve gotten older, I am beginning to think he was on to something. I’ve noticed that the light in the winter months speaks in a much softer voice. Maybe it’s because there is less daylight, less time to see the tones of gold or grey or blue. You’ve gotta give it a good whisper and coax it into playing with you.

*smiles* Be kind to your winter light.

lightofWinter

art. Chiana Oh. ‘Winter’s Hazy Shade’ (new release)
sofa. Chiana Oh. Winter Couch (new release)
cat. SHOP SEU. 1 prim cat – orange
sweets. Tres Blah. Pastry Mania – Macarons (arcade)
cup. Tres Blah. Pastry Mania – Mustache Cup (arcade)
building. POST. Skov Kapel (arcade)
—-
skin. BCC. Latte – Liu 02 (arcade)
hair. INK. Natum – black (new release)
eyes. Mooney Eyes. Glassy – Yellow
eyeliner. AE METH. Cat Eyeliner 4
lips. Mock. Pomegranate Lip Jelle
nails. Mock. Cerise Mock Nails
sweater. FY. Loose Knit Sweater – lavender
bra. Pacadi Jasha. Oona Lingerie
tights. Ohmai. Basics Sheer Leggings – concrete
shoes. DECO. Mesh Distressed Heels – grape (new release)
necklace. Bliensen + MaiTai. Noel – Chunky Necklace (new release)

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Mindful Compassion of Yourself

Nearly 1,000,000 people make a suicide attempt every year.

Being alone in body, mind and spirit sucks. It’s a hard rock to come out from.. trust me, I understand. There is nothing easy about the overwhelming feeling of being alone in your thoughts. Isolated from humanity and detached from these aliens that run around this earth mucking it up. You feel so fucking tired of fighting yourself and those around you. I get that.

Alone

But please, let me offer you something. It might even be a version of peace of mind for you. I know it was for me.

Let me first say that I am a card-carrying atheist. However, I think the religion I am most comfortable with has been Buddhism. As I have been taught new things over the last year by my mentor, I have expanded my world views to see that Buddhism is so much more than a “brand name” religion.

Here’s where I get to the peace of mind part.

There is a technique I have learned that has literally transformed my fucking life. It has brought me to a deeper understanding of myself and the world around me. It’s fleshed out all those grey areas where fear lived, where self-loathing lived, where I lost myself in negative thought. The strange part is that it is so very easy. I devote 10 minutes a day to saying out loud or to myself these four lines:

May I have happiness and the causes of happiness,
May I be free of suffering and the causes of suffering,
May I have joy and the causes of joy,
May I remain in equanimity from attachments and aversions.

That’s it. This is called Compassion Training. I am learning how to have compassion for MYSELF. The depths of the human psyche are all different, but I do feel there is this string that binds us together. It is the self-hate we have practiced over and over on ourselves. The Compassion Training allows you the opportunity to view yourself with kindness and deserving of happiness. It re-trains your brain to instead of being inflamed with lust or pissed with rage – to think on things with understanding. It is the motivation to see them how they are, and not as a reaction.

I’ve found with the training that it was difficult at first. When I would try to say the verses, my mind would try to distract me with negative thoughts. It would bring up all this garbage from years ago and remind me of the piece of shit I am. But you must fight through that. That is your brain resisting the training program. You must get through that and see that when you come out the other side, you are totally enabled to love yourself.

This isn’t a cure and might not even help with suicidal thoughts – but I know it has helped with my severe depression. It has transformed my brain into a loving machine. Don’t get me wrong. I still have orgasms and fight with family, but not everything is so god damn charged that I could choke on it. It releases this tension and allows you a calm.

Here are some medical and psychology journals talking about Compassion Traininghere, here and here.

If you are in Crisis and need help right away, call this toll-free number, available 24 hours a day, every day: 1-800-273-TALK (8255). You will reach the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline, a service available to anyone. You may call for yourself or for someone you care about. All calls are confidential.

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Goldenrod Hobo

One of the great things about travel is that you find out how many good,
kind people there are.

Edith Wharton, author of Ethan Frome
GoldenrodHobo

credits
train. ililo. hobo hut 02 (new Arcade Item)
chair. Zigana. lazy sunday chair – buttercup (new Arcade Item)
feline. SHOP SEU. 1prim cat – black

skin. the Skinnery. Iris – Gold champaign LB CL1 (new Arcade Item)
eyes. Insufferable Dastard. Glimmer Contacts – aqua (new Arcade Item)
ears. Mandala. Steking Ears
hair. LaViere. Ambush. Creative Dye Pack
dress. The Secret Store & Nyu. Camille Dress – honeycomb
scarf. The Sea Hole. Parvita Scarf – sunzecya (new Arcade Item)
boots. J’s. Studded Long Boots – black
radio. Tee*fy. Retro Portable Radio – Printed Paper Pink (new Arcade Item)

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