There is nothing easy to say about September 11th. The social complexities and nuances of pain, loss and grief are exceptionally delicate. However, I do believe that we can all accept how personal it was for each and every one. There is a reason people ask, ‘where were you when you heard about 9/11’. We’ve all been marked by it.
My therapist and I have discussed “marked events” like this extensively. (Yes, I have a therapist and she’s lovely.) She described huge tragic events like rings in a tree. Allow me to explain…
The very center point, or origin, is the event itself.The event is just the series of actions that were taken, nothing more and nothing less. Let’s create a workable metaphor for this event, for example: Jane climbs up a tree in her yard and falls out of the tree. When she lands, she breaks her leg.
The next ring is how this event effected you. What personally happened to you, while that event was running it’s course. This would be the physical pain Jane felt from the broken bones. Who came and helped her to the hospital? Her reaction to pain, hospital and embarrassment of falling.
The final, and the most important, is how was all these series of actions were perceived by you, post event. Did Jane ever climb a tree again? Is she afraid of heights? Because Tommy laughed at her, she is no longer friends with him? Is she afraid of doctors? Doesn’t like hospitals? etc.
I know this seems painfully obvious, but after a large scale tragedy in your personal life or in the lives of thousands of Americans – obvious can dissipate from the view. Processing and understanding can slip through your fingers.
Well, I hope maybe this helped some people maybe think differently or maybe think at all! Avoidance is too easy in this world. Thanks for your time.
Love and Sweet Kisses on the Neck
eyes :: m. fox – gray
skin :: ugly duck – babette autumn
burka :: sakinah – kadijah